Show it off! Tips for Adding Description to your Narrative

When writing a narrative essay, your reader needs to see, hear, smell, taste and touch along with the writer, so it’s the writer’s job to show these details as clearly as possible. It’s not enough to tell the readers that someone is beautiful, handsome, slim or happy; the readers must see it for themselves. Writers can do this by incorporating sensory details.

As humans, we learn about the world and our surroundings through our senses. A reader needs to feel engaged in the written world you are creating. When we write using sensory detail, we are showing someone or something as it is instead of telling. Incorporating the five senses – sight (visual), sound (auditory), smell (olfactory), taste (gustatory), and touch (tactile) – into a narrative forces readers to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch just as the writer or character does. Writing that incorporates sensory images engages the reader and makes the writing come alive. Writing that utilizes sensory images quicken the pulse, gives you goose bumps, makes you taste and smell and hear what the writer tastes, smells, and hears.

Take, for instance, the following example:

The mountains are beautiful.

What, exactly, does “beautiful” look like? The word “beautiful” doesn’t tell us what color the mountains are, how high they are, what they might sound like (echoing or rustling leaves?) or smell like (clean cedar or musty leaves?). Mountains in Colorado are quite different in every “sense” than mountains in southern Appalachia.

Take this example taken from a student essay, as the writer is describing her grandmother:

She was very pretty.

What does “pretty” look like?

Revision:

My grandmother’s silver hair sat at her crown in a tight knot. Her skin, creviced from decades of laughter, hung loosely over her still high cheekbones. As she kneaded the dough, her thin, delicate hands sprinkled flour atop the dough, the smell of freshly baked bread clinging to her like perfume.

In narrative essays, you want the reader to experience what you experienced. Telling an audience something looks beautiful or pretty is vague; you need to create a sensory image of what “beautiful” or “pretty” means to you. Look at the following short paragraph describing a boy helping an elderly woman up a flight of stairs:

Grandmother Workman reached over and grabbed her grandson’s arm. He was nervous because the staircase was so steep, but she leaned against him and they began to climb.

Now, look at the same scene, but here, the writer has incorporated sensory detail:

Grandmother Workman lurched over and grabbed the pale skin of Randal’s thin forearm with her leathery hand. The folds and creases beneath her skin coiled themselves out like electrical wiring, like the bloated, roughly-textured relief map of the world that his mother just posted above his bedside table. Randal looked ahead toward the winding spiral staircase, fidgeted with a small hole in his baseball jersey, and bit his lip. His mouth filled with the sweet, coppery taste of blood as she leaned in closely toward him, breathing her hot breath on the damp hair at the base of his neck. She smelled of wet cigarettes and bacon. As they slowly climbed the long, steep staircase, the only sound was his grandmothers’ labored breathing and the mournful creak of the wooden stairs.

(writing.colostate.edu)

How many senses are utilized in this scene?

One way to help you incorporate more sensory images into your writing is by drafting the narrative first, then go back through the draft to see where you have told when you could have shown, and incorporate sensory details. The chart below is one type of tool to use as you construct and revise your narrative:

Sight

I see…            __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sound

I hear…            __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Taste

I taste…            __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Smell

I smell…            __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Touch

I feel…            __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Remember that as you write your narrative, your reader didn’t experience what you experienced. To engage your reader, work on incorporating sensory detail into your narrative, and watch your writing come alive.

Simple Steps to Improve Your Writing

Have you ever read a sentence, then re-read, and re-read again, because by the time you get to the end, you’re lost? Long sentences that are tight and concise can read smoothly and quickly, just as short sentences can be tedious and confusing.

Why?

Wordiness. Inflated writing. Bloated sentences. More words does not necessarily communicate a clearer message. Inflating sentences with unnecessary or redundant words can become a bad habit. Strong writing, clear writing, is not complicated or wordy. Good writing is tight, concise, and to the point. Inflating your writing with superfluous words will lead to confusion in not only your sentences, but can also lead to a confusing message in your essay.

Eliminate Wordy Phrases

One of the easiest fixes to tighten your writing is to eliminate wordy phrases. Read over your essay to see if a wordy phrase can be reduced to a word or two without changing the meaning.

EX. 1:

At the present time  Today our business has no deficit.

The phrase “At the present time,” is wordy. Less is more. Always replace a wordy phrase with fewer words whenever possible.

EX. 2:

The end result is tragic if a patient is not treated swiftly.

In this example, “end result” is redundant. The word “result” doesn’t need a modifier. Its meaning is clear.

EX. 3:

The final outcome will be difficult to determine.

Like Example 2, “final” is redundant, UNLESS there is more than one outcome. If there is one outcome, then a second outcome, and a third, then “final” would help clarify.

Because of the fact that NASA has cut funding, our space missions are in jeopardy.

This is one of the most common wordy phrases in academic writing. Why do we think we need all of these words? We don’t. And “due to the fact that” isn’t any better.

Eliminate Meaningless Qualifiers and Intensifiers

Qualifiers and intensifiers are words added in front of other words to modify meaning, either by limiting it (somewhat lazy) or enhancing it (very cute).

While it’s okay to include some qualifiers in writing to communicate your certainty, for instance, with a persuasive argument, excessive use of qualifiers is distracting and repetitive, and only weakens the writing.

Below are a few qualifiers that should be eliminated when possible:

Really
Very
Sort of
Pretty
Kind of
A lot

EX. 1:

They were really trying hard to get the bill passed.

The paper was very interesting. 

The research definitely shows that meditation reduces stress.

Kate was really, very impatient.

If you find you use very or really too frequently, it’s often a sign that the sentence needs to be rewritten with stronger language. Note the changes in the revised sentence below:

They were struggling to get the bill passed.

The paper was fascinating.

The research confirms that meditation reduces stress.

Kate was impatient (or exasperated, or aggravated).

Omit “It is” Constructions

Even tiny words, like “it” can be confusing when placed at the beginning of a sentence as the (empty) subject.

It is important to limit your alcohol intake.

Revise: Limiting your alcohol intake is important.

It is Laura who adopted the cat.

Revise: Laura adopted the cat.

It is possible that the cause of her headaches is stress.

Revised: The cause of her headaches is stress. 

Beginning a sentence with “it is” creates a subject-less, often confusing sentence. “There is” or “There are” (to begin a sentence) creates the same effect. Sometimes, this type of construction is necessary, but if you rely on it, the writing can get repetitive and slightly annoying. Eliminating this type of construction will clarify the meaning and improve style by relocating the real subject of the sentence:

There are numerous reports of widespread corruption.

Revised: Numerous reports suggest widespread corruption.

There are only two questions left to answer.

Two questions are left to answer.

There are numerous studies that show the opposite is true.

Numerous studies show the opposite is true.

Final Thoughts

Always do one final edit to eliminate redundant, excessive, or unnecessary words from your sentences. Your points will communicate more clearly, ideas will flow more smoothly, which means your ideas will be taken more seriously.

Productive Writing: 5 questions to help manage your writing project

When starting a writing assignment, sometimes we have more questions than answers, such as

What topic should I choose?
How can I get all my jumbled thoughts to make sense?
How can these jumbled thoughts ever result in a successful essay?

Beginning writing without spending any time in the initial planning stages is a recipe for failure. Careful planning is vital before any action can be taken. In the world of business, this is referred to as Project Management.

According to business writer and coach, David Allen, author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity, our minds go through five steps to accomplish any task:

  1. Defining purpose
  2. Outcome visioning
  3. Brainstorming
  4. Organizing
  5. Identifying next action

Our minds work in mysterious ways, but sometimes our minds become overwhelmed if we try to mentally juggle too many tasks. Instead of trying to mentally multitask a huge project like an essay assignment, take it one step at a time.

Before you ever begin developing an outline for your paper, you’ll need to answer a few key questions.

What is my purpose?

If the purpose of writing is to satisfy a class assignment, what is the assignment? What are the guidelines and requirements? What type of topic can best satisfy those requirements?

This is merely common sense. Don’t get caught up in worrisome details. Think about the “why” behind your reasons for writing. Knowing the why will help clarify your focus and make the rest of the decision-making process easier.

If you decide your purpose is to write a policy proposal on a current issue in your community, then knowing that will guide your choice of topic.

What outcome do I envision?

Having a clear vision provides the blueprint for your paper. Do you want to argue in favor or in opposition to a controversial issue? Do you want to propose changes to current laws, policies, or procedures? The vision is the “what” instead of the “why.”

Take some time here to imagine what you want the final paper to communicate. What arguments or points do you want to make? What message do you hope readers take away? What changes in thought or policy do you hope readers will consider?

For example, you might envision readers will agree that spending more in the city budget to increase the number of bike lanes in your town will save money in the long run by reducing road maintenance, traffic, and accidents. That is the outcome that you envision.

Brainstorming

 “If you’re waiting to have a good idea before you have any ideas, you won’t have many.” — David Allen

Now that you know your purpose and where you’re going, you’ll need to capture ideas of how to get there. Following the why and the what comes the how.

Brainstorming has lots of terms – mind-mapping, clustering, spider webbing – but they all basically mean the same thing. They are all ways to organize our thoughts. Once you’ve defined your purpose and vision, your brain will automatically begin to create thoughts and ideas, but if you don’t have any method of capturing those ideas, you will either lose them – or won’t have any. Psychologists call this “distributed cognition,” or the need to get all the stuff out of our heads and into objective, reviewable formats, such as a mind map, cluster, or even a Post-It note.

“The best way to get a good idea is to get lots of ideas.” Linus Pauling

The most important thing to keep in mind is to not judge your thoughts as you have them. You are going for quantity, not quality. You might naturally analyze them, such as, “Here’s what might not work with that idea,” which is good. You’re beginning to critically think about your project. But don’t let your critical side overtake your creative side yet. Just give all your ideas a chance at this stage and analyze their usefulness later.

Organizing

Now you know the why, what, and how. Once you’ve emptied all the clutter in your head, your mind will naturally begin to organize those thoughts. You’ll think in relationship to sequences and priorities. What are the essential components for the final paper? Which of the brainstorming ideas will best support my argument?

Organizing is a matter of identifying the significant pieces, then sorting by

  • Components
  • Sequences
  • Priorities

In relation to an argument paper, what are the major components needed to reach your vision? This will most likely be the major points of argument that will support your thesis or reasons why your policy proposal should be implemented.

For example, the policy proposal, increasing spending in the city budget to increase the number of bike lanes in your town will save money in the long run, will require the components of argument points, such as

  • reducing road maintenance
  • reducing traffic
  • reducing automobile accidents

Other components might include the opposition’s side, outside research, and a call to action.

The sequences are the natural progression of the paper. How should you order the ideas – which should come first, second, and last? How will you organize the paper to best present the information for a logical flow? Should you introduce the opposition for each point, or should it come after the points are fully laid out?

Finally, what are the priorities, or essential information that must be included? What must you do first to meet these objectives? For example, once you determine your topic and brainstorm ideas, you might need to gather information from research, data or statistics. Consider what is your next step, and what steps should follow, prioritizing your work into manageable steps. Every essay is different, and no two projects are the same, so for one you might need to do more initial research before you begin, and for another, you might need to write out the points of opposition first.

Identifying Next Actions

So far, you’ve considered the why, what, and how, and begun the steps to organize how you are going to approach the work, prioritizing your next steps. The final stage of planning your writing project should come easily once you’ve defined and clarified your project.

Any writing project, especially longer projects, will have lots of moving parts. For each step above, decide what the “next action” is for each moving part of the project. For example, if you know your paper’s thesis, but not quite sure on your major points of argument, your next “action” might be to brainstorm a bit more to decide on your points of argument. If the components of your essay will require quotes from experts, your next “action” will be to locate research from reliable resources. This will most likely require you to find library databases with peer-reviewed research, read lots of articles, and begin keeping notes on source information that will best support your essay.

Make A Plan!

As you can see, a lot of planning goes into a writing project before the actual writing begins. How much planning is enough? As much as you need to get the project off your mind. The reason things are on your mind and causing you worry is that the outcome and action steps have not been clearly defined, or you may not have developed the details sufficiently to trust your plan. If you are worrying about the project, you obviously need to spend more time planning.

Feeling confused or lack clarity? You need more planning in stages 1, 2 or 3. Are you getting bogged down in research? Do you need more action? Move down to steps 4 or 5. You don’t need to read every single article on your topic in EBSCO to collect 6 or 8 required sources for your project. Focus on what you need that will meet your objectives, and move out of the research phase and onto writing.

Applying project management steps in your writing will not only save you time in the end, but will also create a mental environment where worry, stress and anxiety will be reduced, allowing creative ideas to flourish, one step at a time.

Active and Passive Voice

Active and passive voice refer to the subject of a sentence, and how action is performed. With active voice, the subject of the sentence performs the action (think verb). In a passive voice, the subject receives the action.

 

Take a look at the following sentences:

 

EX. 1     The politician believes he is the best person for the job.

EX. 2      It is believed by the politician that he is the best person for the job.

 See the difference?

Both sentences above say the same thing, but the first example is clearer and more to the point. Why? Because the first sentence uses active voice, the subject, “The politician,” is doing the action, “believes.”

 

Active voice places the subject first, followed by the verb and object, as in-

 

The doctor stated that the patient’s high stress caused her heart attack.

It was stated by the doctor that the patient’s high stress caused her heart attack.

Because passive sentence construction add words and changes the normal doer-action-receiver, the reader must work harder to understand the intended meaning. Passive constructions are by their very nature wordier than active constructions, which also can lead to confusion.

 

See the following examples of active vs. passive voice below:

 Active: Diane (subject) loves (verb) her new chickens (object).

Passive: The new chickens (object) were loved (passive verb) by Diane.

 

Active: The Camaro (subject) outran (verb) the police cruiser (object).

Passive: The police cruiser (object) was outran (passive verb) by the Camaro (object).

 

Note that passive sentences aren’t incorrect; it’s just that they often aren’t the best way to phrase your thoughts. Sometimes passive voice is awkward and other times it’s vague. In addition, passive voice is usually wordy, so you can tighten your writing if you replace passive sentences with active sentence

 

“By” Sentence

 One way to identify a passive sentence construction is to note the word “by” in the sentence. If you have a passive sentence with a “by” phrase, such as, “The boy was bitten by the dog,” rewrite the sentence so the subject comes first, followed by the verb:
“The dog bit the boy.”

 Passive Voice Uses

 Passive voice actually is preferred in some instances. If you want to emphasize the action rather than the subject (or actor) you might use passive voice.

 

After the debate, the bill was endorsed by the state legislature.

 

Another instance you’ll find passive voice is in scientific writing.

 

“The DNA was tested.” (By whom?)

 

In this example, we don’t know who tested the DNA, as the author decided that wasn’t important. Scientists are expected to sound objective, so they take themselves, the subject, out of their sentences.

 

Although you may not be able to eliminate all passive voice from your writing, work to minimize it as much as possible. Your writing will be clearer, your message will be stronger, and your audience will be grateful!

 Now You Try!

Revise the passive sentences below to active. (Note the use of verb form).

 

  1. The new nursing program had been approved by the Curriculum Committee and the Board of Trustees.
  2. With five seconds left in the game, an illegal time-out was called by one of the players.
  3. “The Yellow Wallpaper” was written by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.
  4. An unexpected tornado smashed several homes and uprooted trees in a suburb of Knoxville.
  5. I was surprised by the teacher’s lack of sympathy.
 (Exercises from http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/passive_quiz.htm)

 

 

 

 

 

Tighten Up! Omit Needless Words & Phrases from your Writing

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Many writers, beginning and experienced, often inflate their sentences with unnecessary words, but strong writing is not complicated or wordy writing. Good writing is tight, concise, and to the point. Inflating your writing with superfluous words will lead to confusion in not only your sentences, but can also lead to a confusing message in your essay. Read on to learn how to tighten your writing and improve your sentences.

Eliminate Wordy Phrases

One of the easiest fixes to tighten your writing is to eliminate wordy phrases. Read over your essay to see if a wordy phrase can be reduced to a word or two without changing the meaning:

At the present time  Today our business has no deficit.

The end result is tragic if a patient is not treated swiftly.

The final outcome will be difficult to determine.

Because of the fact that NASA has cut funding, the space missions are in jeopardy.

 

Eliminate Empty or Meaningless Words

Read each sentence carefully to locate words that offer no essential information to a sentence. Some of the most common empty words in student essays are very, really, and definitely.

They were really trying hard to get the bill passed.

The paper was very interesting. 

The research definitely shows that meditation reduces stress.

If you find you use very or really a little too frequently, it’s often a sign that the sentence needs to be rewritten with stronger language. Note the changes in the revised sentence below:

They were struggling to get the bill passed.

The paper was fascinating.

The research confirms that meditation reduces stress.

 

Omit “It is” Constructions

One of the most common sentence constructions found in student writing is beginning a sentence with “It is” or “There are,” both of which create a subject-less, and often confusing, sentence. Look at the sentences below and consider what the “it is” might be referring to:

It is possible that the cause of her headaches is stress.

Revised: The cause of her headaches is stress.

It is worth pointing out that both governors were incorrect.

Revised: Note that both governors were incorrect.

It is clear that research supports his findings.

Revised: Clearly the research supports his findings.

It is often the case that initial experiments fail to prove anything.

Revised: Often initial experiments fail to prove anything.

 

Tighten sentences beginning with “There are” to clarify meaning and improve style by locating the real subject of the sentence. Below, the real subject of the sentences is underlined:

There are numerous reports of widespread corruption.

Revised: Numerous reports suggest widespread corruption.

There are only two questions left to answer.

Two questions are left to answer.

There are numerous studies that show the opposite is true.

Numerous studies show the opposite is true.

 

Before you turn in your final draft, take some time to work on eliminating any redundant, excessive, or unnecessary words or language from your sentences. Your ideas will communicate more clearly, writing will flow more smoothly, which means your ideas will be taken more seriously.

The Mod Squad: How to Banish Misplaced Modifiers

Mod_Squad

A modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that offers a description or identifying details of another word in a sentence. A modifier should always be placed by the word it modifies. Let’s look at some examples below to see what happens when modifiers are misplaced.

The waitress received a large tip with a smile.

The previous sentence is an example of a misplaced modifier. A misplaced modifier often causes confusion for the reader. The modifying phrase in this example, “with a smile” modifies “The waitress,” not “a large tip,” so the modifying phrase should be placed next to the word or phrase it modifies to clarify the meaning:

With a smile, the waitress received a large tip.

Sometimes, a misplaced modifier is not only confusing, but can create a ridiculous sentence, as in the examples below:

The children ate the candy they had purchased slowly.

The word “slowly” is modifying “purchased” in the sentence. So it sounds like the children had purchased the candy slowly! What the writer really means is the children were eating the candy slowly.

The children slowly ate the candy they had purchased.

 

The sentence below also sounds a bit confusing, and quite awkward:

The school children saw a fence behind the school made of barbed wire.

Because the modifying phrase, “made of barbed wire” is directly after “the school,” it sounds like the school was made of barbed wire!

The school children saw a fence made of barbed wire behind the school.

 

In some cases, a modifier is sandwiched next to two words that could possibly be modified, creating an ambiguous meaning.

Jason told Alex immediately to call his mother.

Did Jason tell Alex immediately? OR was Alex to call immediately? We don’t know, so the sentence needs revising to clarify:

Jason told Alex to call his mother immediately.

Now it’s clear that Alex is to call immediately.

If the writer meant that Jason told Alex immediately, the sentence would look like this:

Jason immediately told Alex to call his mother.

 

Misplaced modifiers become more complicated when modifying phrases or clauses are placed between main sentence elements, as in the example below:

The cost of attending college, because of inflation and reduced federal support, has risen sharply in recent years.

This sentence is a bit awkward, as the modifying phrase is longer and more complicated. The sentence can be clarified by moving the modifying phrase to the end:

The cost of attending college has risen sharply in recent years because of inflation and reduced federal support.

The example below is also a bit awkward with the modifying phrase in between the subject and predicate:

Anthony could have, if he had not been arrested, played in the championship game.

In this example, moving the modifying phrase to the beginning helps to clarify the sentence:

If he had not been arrested, Anthony could have played in the championship game.

As you can see, misplaced modifiers can not only cause confusion for the reader, but can also sound quite ridiculous! Carefully read your sentences to make sure your sentences are clear and free of misplaced modifiers.


Now you try!

Can you identify the problems below? Reword the following sentences to correct misplaced modifiers.

  • Emma Sue was delighted when Mr. Nguyen returned her perfect calculus test with an ear-to-ear grin. 
  • Attached to the email, Charlotte sent her boyfriend Byron another photographic self-portrait with eerie red eyes. 
  • While Marina’s tail flopped against the wood, which was long, scaly, and metallic blue, she asked poor Tommy the reason for his pain. 

 

(exercises from http://www.chompchomp.com/modifiers01/modifiers01.01.htm)

ESL Spotlight: Verb Combinations

keep-calm-and-conjugate-verbs-2

English sentences sometimes require a combination of a helping verb with a main verb. A helping verb, also known as an auxiliary verb, helps out the main verb, giving more detail in how time is portrayed. Helping verbs always appear before the main verb in a sentence.

According to The Brief English Handbook, English has 23 helping verbs; 9 work only as helping verbs, and the remainder are forms of do, have, and be.

  • do, does, did
  • have, has, had,
  • be, is, was, were, are, am, been, being

In many cases, a verb will not be complete without a helping verb.

  • The doctor will arrive soon.
  • The contract was submitted late.
  • Steve has been studying all night.

In the examples above, the sentences required a helping verb to complete the verb. Without the helping verb, they would not make sense.

Modals

Modals are a type of helping verb that express probability, necessity, or ability. Below is a list of modal verbs:

  • Can, could, may, might, will, would, must, shall, should, ought to

  • He does not know the answer.
  • I should bring a dessert.
  • Dave could come early if needed.

In the examples below, have, has, and had are used with past participles (driven, contributed, slept are all past tense) to form the perfect tense:

  • I have driven all night to get here.
    Vicky has contributed more than anyone.
    Kate had slept later than usual.

In the following examples, is, was, were, are, and am are used with present participles to form the progressive tense:

  • John was working on the furnace.
    Jason is swimming in the lake.
    The students are studying for the finals.

Passive Voice

The passive voice is created by combining a helping verb, is, was, were, are, am, with a past participle. This means that the recipient of the verb or action becomes the subject of a sentence. This is not grammatically incorrect, but a stylistic choice, though your instructor may ask that you avoid passive construction when you can.

  • The boy was thrown from the horse.
    The trees were scorched by the wildfires.
    The kids were bitten by the puppies.

*******************************************************************************
Verb combinations are often confusing for English language learners. English also has irregular verbs that complicate our understanding, but with practice, you will begin to master verb constructions. Visit the links below for more information and exercises.

  1. A number of recent crashes ____ (raise) questions about the risks of letting new pilots fly at night.
    A. had raised                        B. have raised
  2. The board ____ (state) that approximately eighty people die each year in crashes involving privately flown planes.
    A. has stated                         B. had stated
  3. Some experts ____ (argue) that the number of these types of crashes have decreased over the last twenty years.
    A. have argued                     B. had argued

 

[Examples 1-3 from Bedford St. Martin’s Exercise Central.]

http://www.englishlanguageguide.com/languagetools/englishverbs.asp

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/601/01/

http://www.englishgrammar.org/verb-conjugation-exercise/

 

 

 

 

 

Considering Pronouns and Antecedents

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A pronoun takes the place of a noun, and usually refers to a word used earlier in the text called an antecedent (ante=before).  In the sentence, “The teacher brought her dog to class,” the word her refers back to teacher, so teacher is the antecedent of the pronoun her. It would sound awkward to repeat the noun, “The instructor brought the instructor’s dog to class.” In simple sentences like this, it’s clear what noun the pronoun is replacing.

The pronoun’s antecedent must agree in number, either singular or plural form, with the noun to which it references:

The boy wandered off the path, and he became lost. (singular noun = boy; singular pronoun = he)

The instructors must administer their exams before Friday. (plural noun = instructors; plural pronoun = their)

Of course, the previous examples are simple sentences, and pronoun-antecedent agreement becomes more complicated with more complex sentences.

PronounImage2

Effective writing communicates clearly, and the overuse of pronouns can lead to confusing sentences. Beginning writers often overuse pronouns when using the noun would help clarify the sentence, as in the examples below:

EX:

CONFUSING            After Dave studied with John, he realized he still did not understand   trigonometry.

CLEAR                      After studying with John, Dave realized he still did not understand trigonometry.

CONFUSING            After Susan bought the flowers and potting soil, she discovered they were full of insects.

CLEAR                      After Susan bought the flowers and potting soil, she discovered that the flowers were full of insects.

CLEAR                      After Susan bought the flowers and potting soil, she discovered that the potting soil was full of insects.

CLEAR                      After Susan bought the flowers and potting soil, she discovered that both were full of insects.

 

Avoiding Indefinite Use of It and They

Indefinite pronouns refer to a non-specific person, place, or thing. It and they are often used to make reference to people or situations, but in writing, they sound vague and can lead to confusion. To solve this particular error, name who “they” is:

EX:

VAGUE                      It is said that the unemployment rate is declining.

CLEAR                      The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the unemployment rate is declining.
VAGUE                      They said that the outcome of their research is inconclusive.

CLEAR                      MIT researchers said the outcome of their research is inconclusive.

As you can see, the revised sentence is much clearer when the noun is used.

What Makes Good Writing and How to Make Your Writing Better

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As we embark on a new fall term here at Metro Community College and many students will be taking their first college English class, let’s talk about what actually makes good writing. Of course, there are many variables in effective academic writing, but below, we’ll discuss writing in relation to freshman writing expectations.

First Things First: Follow Assignment Guidelines

Has your instructor given you assignment directions, either in the syllabus, or a separate handout in class? Perhaps your instructor will assign reading from your text, and ask you to follow the guidelines in the assigned chapter. Assignment directions should be read, re-read, and critically analyzed if you expect to meet the instructor’s expectations. We see numerous low marks on well-written essays that fail to follow the assignment guidelines. If your guidelines direct you to write a “critical analysis” of a short story, and you write a “summary,” your grade most likely will reflect this oversight.

Use Standard Written English

You might think this is obvious, but many beginning writers fall into slang, colloquialisms, and even text-speak when writing. You most likely know and unconsciously follow the rules of standard written English, but it’s easy to fall into ingrained speech patterns when we write. Slang is perfectly acceptable for conversation, but in writing, it can get in the way of the writer’s message and distract the reader. In persuasive writing, falling into an informal tone or slang will lead your reader to conclude your writing shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Write Effective Sentences

What makes an effective sentence? It’s about choosing the best words, understanding parts of speech (noun, pronoun, verb, adverb), and organizing the words in the most logical order.

In contrast, ineffective sentences often utilize poor word choice, confuse parts of speech, and organize the words in illogical and sometimes grammatically incorrect order.

One of the most common punctuation errors made in freshman writing classes is a comma splice. A comma splice is incorrect punctuation created by combining two independent clauses with a comma to separate the two clauses. An independent clause is a full sentence, containing a subject and predicate (ex. noun, verb, object). If you are not able to identify what parts of speech make up a sentence, you will most likely have grammatically incorrect sentences.

To learn more about sentence-level issues, click here to read more.

Write Effective Paragraphs

Effective paragraphs are unified, focusing on one main point. In persuasive writing, the one main point of the paragraph will support one main idea from your thesis.

An effective paragraph is cohesive, each sentence logically flowing from sentence to sentence. In turn, each paragraph should logically flow one to the next with effective transitional sentences.

Effective paragraphs are fully developed, containing enough information to fully convey the main idea of the paragraph in a thorough way. In research papers, direct quotes are smoothly integrated into the text, and contextualized in the writer’s own words. Paragraphs avoid beginning or ending with direct quotes.

Effective paragraphs utilize topic sentences, commonly the first sentence of the paragraph, though it may come later or be implied. To read more about introductory and concluding paragraphs, click here.

Know Your Audience

Effective writers understand who their audience is and what they know about their topic. If you are writing a persuasive essay to lower the drinking age, a reading audience of your state’s alcohol commission would be persuaded with a different line of reasoning than a group of seventeen-year-olds. Effective writing always takes into consideration who the audience is, what they know, and how they feel about their topic.

Writing is a Process

When we write, we do more than sit in front of a blank computer screen and type. Thinking, planning, drafting, and revising are all part of the process of writing effectively. Most college-level writing classes will expect you to write several drafts of your assignment, and may require you to turn in each draft for assessment. Waiting until the night before the due date to begin writing a college-level essay can be a costly mistake.

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Final Thoughts

If you feel your writing skills are lacking or need improvement, don’t wait to seek help. Your instructor may be able to offer assistance, or visit your writing center for help. You can visit writing centers at any stage of the writing process, even to brainstorm topic ideas.

If you have questions, ask! Guaranteed, if you have a question, others do as well, but may be too embarrassed to ask.

Below, you’ll find links to more online resources.

Purdue Owl Online Writing Lab – A wonderful resource for anything writing-related.

Bedford St. Martin’s – Tutorials on grammar, punctuation, and other writing-related topics.

Grammar Girl: Quick and Dirty Tips – A popular and easy-to-understand website on all things writing.

MCC Writing Center – Our own Writing Center’s website with a link to student resources.