Have you ever read a sentence, then re-read, and re-read again, because by the time you get to the end, you’re lost? Long sentences that are tight and concise can read smoothly and quickly, just as short sentences can be tedious and confusing.
Why?
Wordiness. Inflated writing. Bloated sentences. More words does not necessarily communicate a clearer message. Inflating sentences with unnecessary or redundant words can become a bad habit. Strong writing, clear writing, is not complicated or wordy. Good writing is tight, concise, and to the point. Inflating your writing with superfluous words will lead to confusion in not only your sentences, but can also lead to a confusing message in your essay.
Eliminate Wordy Phrases
One of the easiest fixes to tighten your writing is to eliminate wordy phrases. Read over your essay to see if a wordy phrase can be reduced to a word or two without changing the meaning.
EX. 1:
At the present time Today our business has no deficit.
The phrase “At the present time,” is wordy. Less is more. Always replace a wordy phrase with fewer words whenever possible.
EX. 2:
The end result is tragic if a patient is not treated swiftly.
In this example, “end result” is redundant. The word “result” doesn’t need a modifier. Its meaning is clear.
EX. 3:
The final outcome will be difficult to determine.
Like Example 2, “final” is redundant, UNLESS there is more than one outcome. If there is one outcome, then a second outcome, and a third, then “final” would help clarify.
Because of the fact that NASA has cut funding, our space missions are in jeopardy.
This is one of the most common wordy phrases in academic writing. Why do we think we need all of these words? We don’t. And “due to the fact that” isn’t any better.
Eliminate Meaningless Qualifiers and Intensifiers
Qualifiers and intensifiers are words added in front of other words to modify meaning, either by limiting it (somewhat lazy) or enhancing it (very cute).
While it’s okay to include some qualifiers in writing to communicate your certainty, for instance, with a persuasive argument, excessive use of qualifiers is distracting and repetitive, and only weakens the writing.
Below are a few qualifiers that should be eliminated when possible:
Really
Very
Sort of
Pretty
Kind of
A lot
EX. 1:
They were really trying hard to get the bill passed.
The paper was very interesting.
The research definitely shows that meditation reduces stress.
Kate was really, very impatient.
If you find you use very or really too frequently, it’s often a sign that the sentence needs to be rewritten with stronger language. Note the changes in the revised sentence below:
They were struggling to get the bill passed.
The paper was fascinating.
The research confirms that meditation reduces stress.
Kate was impatient (or exasperated, or aggravated).
Omit “It is” Constructions
Even tiny words, like “it” can be confusing when placed at the beginning of a sentence as the (empty) subject.
It is important to limit your alcohol intake.
Revise: Limiting your alcohol intake is important.
It is Laura who adopted the cat.
Revise: Laura adopted the cat.
It is possible that the cause of her headaches is stress.
Revised: The cause of her headaches is stress.
Beginning a sentence with “it is” creates a subject-less, often confusing sentence. “There is” or “There are” (to begin a sentence) creates the same effect. Sometimes, this type of construction is necessary, but if you rely on it, the writing can get repetitive and slightly annoying. Eliminating this type of construction will clarify the meaning and improve style by relocating the real subject of the sentence:
There are numerous reports of widespread corruption.
Revised: Numerous reports suggest widespread corruption.
There are only two questions left to answer.
Two questions are left to answer.
There are numerous studies that show the opposite is true.
Numerous studies show the opposite is true.
Final Thoughts
Always do one final edit to eliminate redundant, excessive, or unnecessary words from your sentences. Your points will communicate more clearly, ideas will flow more smoothly, which means your ideas will be taken more seriously.
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